okay pat passed out under dana's car
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
This is my gift to your gina
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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