So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
