GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
