Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
