Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
