it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
