He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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