Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
