I wish i was in the wii world.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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