so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
