I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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