I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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