This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
