we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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