his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
