let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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