I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
