so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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