I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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