We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
