$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
