You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
