Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
