Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
