well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
