Are we in a gay sports bar?
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
