this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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