please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
