i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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