I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
