I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
