"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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