Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
