Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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