Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
