My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
