you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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