I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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