so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
As shirtless as possible
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Randomize
