How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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