Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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