Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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