Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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