Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
