How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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