no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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