I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
