Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
