What a fucking waste of an outfit
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
