How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
