I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
