Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
