I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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